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Perfectly Normal Life

12th June, 2005. 5:47 am. myspace

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1st May, 2005. 12:35 am. My Social Life is Right on Track

Okay, so it's official, no woman anywhere will, under any circumstances, go out with me. Tonight's events have shown the inevitability of my dying alone. So, I figure sooner rather than later. Anybody want any of my stuff. Come on, it's your last chance to get whatever book or movie or sentimental googaw you might have had your eyes on over the years. I was thinking I would just open a vein in the tub, but I don't have a tub. Besides, thinking about, I decided I want to take as many people with me as possible. Suggestions?

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20th March, 2005. 12:31 am. Wizard World

In nine and a half hours, I will be at the Long Beach Convention Center.  During my time there, I will see Joss Whedon and the cast of Serenity.  I'll be coming home with a copy of Whedon's graphic novel, Frey, autographed by the man himself.  Photos out the wazoo.  I may bring in my copy of the Firefly DVDs for the cast to sign.  I'm going to try my hardest to get over to see Kevin Smith as well.  Should be cool.  I should be able to find some Smith stuff for him to sign at the show.

Oh, I stopped by the Convention Center today while I should have been patrolling the garage.  Comic book girls are hot.  Not the ones that are in the books, though they are drawn with the nice boobage and stuff.  I mean the fuckin' chicks in there holding hands with these Comic Books Guys were out of the world.  Great bodies, stacked, nerdy and dripping sex in their naughty schoolgirl outfits.  I may have fun tomorrow.

Current mood: excited.

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4th March, 2005. 4:01 pm. The Bible as comfort food.

Quoting from the book of Chuck, "Everyone you love will reject you or die."

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4th March, 2005. 3:41 pm. Yea! Goin' to the movies!

I had plans to go to the movies with a friendly acquaintance from work. She called a couple of hours after I finally fell asleep and canceled. Then I went back to sleep and had a weird ass dream. I think the underlying theme was that of unhealthy relationships, people preying on one another. A woman pretended to be with a chapter of the Nazi party and handed out fliers showing that the Nazis supported a particular political candidate. She ended up running away from home, from her loving husband and daughter. She got involved in a big fight, ran from the cops, and ended up getting pissed on for a website. Then I woke up.

So, I returned the call of a friend and she basically blew me off. After I disconnected, a thought popped into my head to the tune of a Bowling for Soup song. "All around the world good people are dying. La-la-la-la-la." Good for them.

Current mood: calm.

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4th March, 2005. 6:04 am.

You are Tyler!!

Which Fight Club Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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4th March, 2005. 5:40 am. And how are you?

I want to do the opposite of committing suicide. I want to destroy everything but myself. I want to go to the carefully groomed parks and burn down all the trees, upend every trashcan. I want to go to the beach and dash baby seals against the rocks. I want to go to the writing workshops and shoot everyone for the books they're never going to write. I want to destroy everyone and everything I see until I'm sitting on a smoking, lifeless lump of rock floating silently through the cold emptiness of space.

Current mood: exhausted.

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16th January, 2005. 8:12 am. sex glutton

So, everyone seems to agree that the quiz was spot on. Isn't it a damn shame that I'll never have sex again? I'll admit that my recent attempt to attract a female was desperate and awkward. I just don't see how to fix it.

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14th January, 2005. 12:38 am. I got no kink.

Take the quiz: "What Is Your Kink?"

You think eating and sleeping are just things you do in between having sex! The problem with there only being 24 hours a day is that there just isn't enough time to cram in all the sex you crave. Your mating call is JUST DO ME!

Current mood: amused.

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18th December, 2004. 12:32 am. Moral Superiority? Bah Humbug.

Here I am just home from one of the strangest days I've had at work so far. The hotel has decided to participate in the LBPD's toy drive. The idea is to collect new, unwrapped toys for children who otherwise might not get any this holiday season. (They're very P.C. to say "holiday season," when Hanukkah ended yesterday if I'm not mistaken. The toys are picked up by LBPD from us on Monday. You do the math.) Anyhow, we had a couple of employees come by the security office and say that they objected to one of the toys that was in the collection box. It was a Ouija board. So, they asked the Assistant Director of Security if they could remove and destroy that present if they replaced it with two others. He said that he couldn't authorize them removing anything from the donation box. They again stated the "fact" that the toy was inappropriate for a child. One of them went so far as to mention, with a straight face, that he knew of employees who practiced witchcraft. Again, they are told that they can't take the game.

Later, one of them comes down to the first floor again. She pushes the button for the elevator and, when the door opens, she runs back to the box, takes out the toy and jumps into the elevator. Now, this box is right next to the door to the security dispatch office. The face of the office is basically open. Big window and only half a door. Of course, I saw her take it. I immediately write up the incident report about the theft. I had intended to show her the report and tell her I was going to file it if she didn't return the toy. Then I decided to just go into the bell closet and retrieve the item. It was obvious where she had stashed it. When I found it, she had already bent it in half, which I'm sure that the creator of the toy would not recommend as it ruins it. Later she gets in my face with the screaming and vulgarity about the whole issue, trying to convince me that I had done something wrong. Did the daft woman expect I would violate company policy, ignore one of the main points of my job description, to allow her to commit an act of religious discrimination and censorship? Did she think I was on staff of the Making-Friends department? I'm in the Security department. I secure. Besides, for all she knew, i bought the damn toy.

I'm thinking I might buy a couple more and drop them in the box this weekend.

Current mood: pissed off.

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